Let that sink in.
Try to swallow down the vomit. *Gag, I know*
It's overwhelming, right?
The blood is pounding in your ears...
You've begun to see in tunnel vision--only there's no light at the end of the tunnel.
Sixty-One days are all that remains.
It feels like a death sentence.
Each day this week, I've started my day thinking about this very hard and difficult truth. I think of all the things that will take longer than the two short months it will take to get to voting day...
And now I'm going to tell them to you too:
Ten Things That Give Us More Time Than The 61 Days Left Before Election Day:
Marine Corps Boot Camp is longer (three months). So if you're heading off to become the latest lean, mean, fighting machine then please understand how drastically the world will have changed by the time you graduate. Ooo-rah!
If you are less than six months pregnant, you will still be pregnant by the time we know if we will be led by President Clinton (Part Two) or President Trump (the orange guy). So if you're looking to give your child a hip new name (or a hilarious, infamous name) wait a little longer.
Kim Kardashian's marriage to Kris Humphries lasted 11 days longer than the time we have left before voting day. I bet it's surprising to read about how it lasted longer than something.
Making a New Habit Stick
It actually takes a minimum of 21 days to get into the habit of a "new" habit, but more than two months before it begins to become an automatic habit. So do you think by the time voting day comes along, we will have begun to think without media influence as a collective "new" habit? The same theory applies to breaking a habit: More than 2 months for it to stick.
In almost all 50 states, it takes at least 6 months for you to get your very first driver's license. If you're starting the process today, you have more time than you do to choose the next president. Take your time! Don't rush it! Take those corners nice and easy! Be CAREFUL! Or at least more careful than the average voting American during the preliminaries.
Need a standard passport? It can take 4-6 weeks. You have more time for that than deciding who to vote for or where to run away when the results make you feel as if you're being skinned alive.
So...I find this an odd bit of scientific information, but I guess psychologists say that the average crush lasts for four months. Weird. I've been crushing on my husband for 16 years! Anyway, you will still be feeling your heart plummet to your toes when the hot barista hands you your Venti mocha long after we know who the next president will be.
Unless you're Fertile Myrtle, planning to get pregnant and actually getting pregnant can take anywhere from 2-7 months. Maybe if you're super depressed with the results on voting day, you can try to make that little bundle of joy and distract yourself from the madness?
It would take the average reader two months or more to read A Song of Ice and Fire by George R.R. Martin. The average adult reader reads about 250 words per minute. If you read for two hours a day, you will still be reading this by the time we elect the next leader of the free world.
So, say you're already really ticked off that we only get to choose between these two jokers and you want to get the heck out of here. Well, the best next option is Canada and moving there would take a while. Legally, moving there, anyways. First, you need to get the papers drawn up and you won't have help with the process from their government, or ours. Next, there's the possibility that the Canadian immigration authorities will reject your application. There's no telling just how long it could take you, or if it's even feasible. Unfortunately for you, it's safe to say that you'll be puking on your toes right alongside me the morning after election day.