Like Donkey Kong In China Town

This afternoon, after hitting a wall of exhaustion, I turned around in one room and saw Teddy just standing in the other room. Slowly, he looked up at me, and I narrowed my eyes on him. We stood that way for a long moment as he tried to size up what his mama was thinking and if she was going to give him some job to do.

This was my moment. 

I don't often get to be the fun and cool and adventurous parent. I am the level-headed one. I am the one that prepares and plans and does school lessons and cooks the boring dinners they all hate. I'm the parent that washes their underwear and tells them to put clean clothes away on their own--usually when they are in the very middle of the best part of a video game (I plan it this way because I am the "Ruiner Of All The Fun").

But there are a few moments when I can shock and surprise (or humiliate) my children. I can become the spontaneous mommy that sings the wackiest songs and has all the best Steve Urkel dance moves (they haven't met Steve yet, but when they do, I will tell them that he stole my moves!).

So I look at Teddy and put on the most exaggerated warrior face--fierce and scary. Instantly, his faces cracks into a mile long grin (front teeth missing, so it's a broken mile). And I strike a karate pose with lightning speed. Teddy giggles until he's rattling the windows. The other children come running in, both curious and frightened.

"Ready to fight, Theodore?" I ask, wiggling my eyebrows. Now, I have to admit, that in this moment, I'm a spot on Steve Urkel. I hiked up my britches and everything (no I didn't).

Teddy is nearly on the floor laughing but he manages to pull himself together and pose for the fight."I'm ready!"

"Good! 'Cause it's on like Donkey Kong!" I yell.

All the kids laugh deep from their bellies and Teddy loses his pose.

"You're goin' down to China Town!" I yell even louder.

The kids can hardly stand up. I AM WINNING!

And that's when I fly through the doorway and land in squat-----I gasp. "Oh, no," I say, eyes wide. "I might have peed my pants."

I SOMEHOW still managed to absolutely kill it! They are losing their minds, clutching their sides, doubled over and rolling on the floor, gasping for breath, their ribs cracking, their spines shaking...and I'm sure all the neighbors can hear their laughter from clean down the street.

So, did I actually pee my pants?

Oh, come on now. I'm a grown up. I have complete control of all my bodily functions.


But I'm also about to turn 34...

And I'm a mom...

Of three children.


Yes, I did.

I peed my pants.

And it was so worth it to hear the children mocking me in their high-pitched mommy voices from the other room. "Bring it on to China Town!" Teddy was saying.

"No, no, no!" Lucy was laughing and saying back, "It's, you're going down like Donkey Kong!"

I'm in the bathroom laughing and shaking my head, telling myself that this is a blog-worthy moment. This is my highlight. This is my good moment of the day...

But as soon as I walked back into the living room, a little knock sounded at the door. It was one of Lucy's little friends and we all rearranged our faces, took deep breaths, and carried on like we were completely normal.

 Business as usual.



  1. Not sure if needing Depends at 34 years old minus 3 days is TMI, but funny. Happy Birthday.

    1. It wasn't that bad. But pretty damn close. At least I didn't sneeze.