I Don't Have One Set Of Footprints


 I have always wanted control.

If there is a problem, I want to fix it.

If I can't fix it, I try to anyway.

And there is very little about my life right now that I can control. There is not even anyway I can fix it. It doesn't matter how hard I work at it, how persistent I am, how dedicated I am...it just can't be fixed.

I can study. I can research. I can find information to help point me in the right direction, but if the problem is too big for my arms alone, I can't really carry it very far, can I?

Buuuuut, I usually try to carry it anyway. Push it. Shove it. Sweat running down into my eyes as I devise a new way to get the problem closer to a solution.

Yet, the damn thing won't move.

It won't even budge!

I kinda feel like I am mostly always right there in that scenario: sitting and staring down a massive problem that is too big for me and trying to figure out how to take care of it.

Oh, I know I should pray, and I do, but I still feel like I can't just lean up against the problem and twiddle my thumbs and wait for everything to fall into place.

Will it fall into place?

Maybe.

Maybe not.

But do I just wait there? Twiddling my thumbs?

See, that's usually where I'm in in the thinking process, and that's when God does something extraordinary to remind me that He is still there.

Does He fix the problem right off the bat?

ALMOST NEVER!

The problem is mostly still there, it's just a little lighter. So I work to move it a little more. I carry it, or shove it, or push it until I simply am too weak to move it anymore...

And I pray and try to ponder what more I can do.

Then something extraordinary happens again, reminding me that I am not alone, and giving me strength to move the dang thing a little more down the road until I get tired again.

Maybe some people have one set of footprints where God carried them through the scary stuff? Maybe I even have one set of footprints from time to time? But more often than not...there are two sets of footprints and a rut I've formed in the sand as I haul my mess along. He doesn't always carry me, but He is there.

Always.

And He was there tonight.

~Gia

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