Birthday Eve :: Having Peace

It's the eve before my 34th birthday.

Last week, I found a silver hair. It glittered rather nicely in the afternoon light. I pulled it just to see if it truly was silver--and it was.

Yes, I choose to say "silver" rather than white, and you're not allowed to say anything.

The whole ordeal intrigued me. People get afraid, I think, when they realize they're getting older. I don't think it's so much that they're afraid of death, but rather they're afraid at how quickly getting older came. Were we not just in grade school? Wasn't just yesterday our high school graduation? How on earth did we go from being old enough to buy a pack of smokes to suddenly spotting a silver hair in our red curls?

For me, the fear is that I might be running out of time to achieve all my goals. I have lofty goals, too. Will I accomplish all of it? Will I be extraordinary? Will I leave a mark here on this little earth?

I tell myself just to be kind, do what is right, and love others. Those things will ensure that I achieve something good. Perhaps I won't achieve all of my personal goals--in fact, I'm certain I will not--but those three pegs from which everything else hangs will be enough.

Those three things are life giving. 

I'm okay with that.

So on the eve of my 34th birthday, I am content to sit here in my living room as my little family watches a movie, drink coffee much too late in the day, and think about cracking open a book.

Because you know what else is coming too soon? Monday. And Monday is our first day of school.


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