Angry Blogging About Taylor :: And Other TalesTuesday, August 23, 2016
"Snap! I still have to blog!"
Taylor cuts her eyes in my direction, all lazy and asks, "You gonna angry blog about me?"
"Yeah. Angry blog. What are you going to angry blog about me?"
Sigh. "Why don't you dictate a blog for me?"
"That's not how it works."
I slap her *playfully in the shoulder * and she gets mad. Drama Queen. "Give me the laptop. Just give it to me."
"Stop hitting me!"
"Give me the laptop!"
Roger hands it to me. I open it. We sit here. Taylor begins to read over my shoulder and chuckles. "You're ridiculous!" As if this is surprising. "What?! I didn't say "angry" blog!"
"Yes, you did. You asked me if I was going to angry blog about you."
She's frowning now, scooping London up in her arms. "No, I didn't. I asked you if you were going to blog about me."
I shrug, unfazed. "That's not what I heard. My blog, my story, Sucker!"
Now she has walked off. I can tell you all the dirt on Taylor Coonce. She loves too hard. Like, she almost sucks all the love right out of your lungs and hoards it for herself. That's how she gets her superhero powers of singing. You knew that was a superhero power, right? You didn't? Well then you've not heard her sing. It is magical. Powerful! Superhuman...
But anyway, the only way she can sing like this is if she goes around and sucks all the love right out of your lungs. So you have to keep your lips sealed or punch her in the face when she comes near you. Or scream really loud and RUN AWAY! RUN AWAY!
I kinda made that all creepy and gross, eh?
She's back. Sat right down beside me. Now I have to be careful about what I say.
So, I will say nothing.
I'm angry at Taylor Coonce.
I am angry blogging about her.
She's the worst.