The Rest of Me : The Furious Longing



I am reading Brennan Manning's The Furious Longing of God. I haven't made it far in the book, but already it is positively amazing me. This is a man that I can relate to. His heart seems to be shaped and molded much like mine.

He challenges readers by saying, "There is the "you" that everyone sees and then there is the "rest of you." He says to take a moment to craft a picture of what the rest of you might look like...

So here is what I know about me...

What people see:

1. A punk with funky hair that changes monthly in both style and color...
2. Has questionable fashion taste...that gets more and more questionable as time wears on...
3. Mispronounces at least one word in a five minute conversation.
4. Giggles like Betty Rubble...
5. Snorts when she giggles too long...
6. Has flared nostrils and a butt chin...
7. Can blush a stunning shade of red...
8. Laughs at herself, but still blushes...
9. Is a riot to watch lose her temper...
10. Inflicts punches on her guy friends because it simply isn't appropriate to hug them...
11. Doesn't act anyone's age...
12. Makes you shake your head...
13. Can't tell a joke without messing it up...
14. Been told I am intimidating...but I don't 'get' that...
15. A nut...
16. Never wears a different color of nail polish on her toes than what's on her fingernails...
17. Obnoxious...maybe?
18. Gives people nicknames...
19. Will criticize you, if you're a man, on a whimpy handshake...
20. Plain old silly...

What people don't see:

1. I struggle with depression...
2. Am uncomfortable with the male race...seriously.
3. Uncomfortable in my own skin, truth be told.
4. Overcoming a laundry list of insecurities (but aren't we all)...
5.  Have to fight every single day to be a good mother, a good wife, and a good Gia. Period. And I usually I fail in some way or another...
6. Sees with war-tinted glasses instead of rose tinted ones. Sounds less violent than it actually is.
7. Struggle with a great deal of fear...
8. The extreme desires hidden in my heart to be something amazing in this world...changing it.
9. The way my heart swells up with passion over film scores...
10. The daydream I have of fighting in epic battles...with a bow and arrow...
11. Closing my eyes in an old building, breathing deep...imaging I can feel the breath of the house upon me...hear the voices from it's walls (how creepy do I sound right now?!)...
12. How I can dream up characters for stories that I sometimes start to confuse with myself...mingling reality with imagination...
13. The amount of tears I've shed over a lifetime...but how glad I am that God knows.
14. The anger I can hide in my heart...
15. How much it hurts to think about not being loved and truly known.
16. How I want to fix broken hearts of the people I love...and how it hurts when I know I can't...
17. The passions I simply don't know how to bring to life...
18. All the art that has gone in the trash...
19. The words not yet written...
20. The woman I wish I could be.

The god I Sometimes See Who Does Not Exist:

1. The god who doesn't care about what's hidden in my heart: all the hopes and dreams, sadness and fears.

But in TRUTH, He is MY FATHER. He sees what you see when you look at me...and what you do not see. He even sees in me what I have not yet discovered. The same goes for you. What are you hiding away...believing doesn't matter? Fears, shames, pain and secret dreams? Because God sees it all, and it matters greatly to Him. And what glimpses of false gods do you sometimes spy...trying to replace His real face? Write them down. Sometimes, being able to look at it, written down before you, helps pen the truth on your heart, replacing the lies hidden within. Try it...





Click here for a free Amazon download for The Furious Longing of God.


~Gia





2 comments

  1. Sweet Gia. There are so many amazing and complicated layers to who you are. I think I have only scratched the surface of the surface. But I can't wait to get to know you on a deeper level! You are truly amazing, talented, creative, colorful, and a little bit weird (in a good way!) I'm so glad to be your friend!

    ReplyDelete